Cocksucker!

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A young man is on a date with a young woman and they go parking.
After some heavy petting the young man asks the young woman for
oral sex.

"No", says the young woman, "you won't respect me."

So the young man is content to wait. After they had been dating a
few months, the young man again asks the young woman for oral
sex. Again she replies,

"No, you won't respect me."

Eventually the two get married and the husband asks his bride

"Honey, please, we're married now. You know I love you and
respect you. Can I please have oral sex?".

"No", she says "I just know that if I do that, you won't respect
me."

So the man waits. And waits... And waits.... After 20 years of
marriage the man says,

"Honey, we've been together 20 wonderful years now. We've raised
three beautiful kids. You KNOW that I love you and respect you
completely. How about oral sex, just once???? Please??????"

So the wife finally gives in to her husband's wish and performs
oral sex on him. After she is done they are lying in bed relaxing
and the telephone rings. The husband turns to his wife and says,

"Answer that you cocksucker."

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Smart Old Couple

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A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, 

"What can I do for you?"

The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said,

"There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.

This  happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.

Finally the doctor asked, 

"Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"

"We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108.  We do it here for $50, .....and I get $43 back from Medicare."

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