tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40352917194786786612024-03-05T02:45:59.145-08:00Fun Stuff, Joke, Adult Joke, Funny Quote, Funny One Liner, Humor, Humor Story, Humor QuoteFun Stuff, Adult Joke, Joke, Funny Quote, Funny One Liner, Humor, Humor Story, Humor Quote....Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.comBlogger148125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-27767805890967265622011-03-21T00:47:00.001-07:002011-03-21T00:54:04.795-07:00Video Sex Anwar Ibrahim<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://xrl.us/3gpbest"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 469px; height: 63px;" src="http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p122/gambaraku/downloadvideo.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Career ending incident or first bullet by Barisan Nasional towards Sarawak state election....?</span></span><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:medium;" ><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-family:Arial,Helvetica,Verdana,sans-serif;font-size:12px;" ><div id="story_content" style="border-top: 1px dotted rgb(204, 204, 204); padding: 15px 0px 10px;"><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;">PETALING JAYA: A video showing a man, resembling a top Opposition leader having sex with a woman, believed to be a foreign prostitute, has emerged.</p><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;">The 30-minute video, which showed the supposedly high profile Member of Parliament in various compromising positions, is set to rock the Malaysian political arena.</p><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;">The video recorded on Feb 21 was found in a hotel room in Kuala Lumpur.</p><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;">Press representatives were taken to a hotel room individually to view the video footage by a group of unknown people led by a person, who only wanted to be known as Datuk T.</p><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;">Datuk T said he wanted the media to watch the footage showing the politician before sending the copy to him and his wife “to identify the person in the video” a week from now.</p><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;">He said if the individual in the video was the politician he had identified to the media, "then he and his wife must step down from politics.”</p><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;">Datuk T said he was not “the pious person with high moral values and integrity as portrayed, and therefore is not fit to be leader.”</p><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;">Datuk T said if the two did not quit politics, “I will call on several NGOs (non-government organisations) to set up an independent panel to investigate and seek professional forensic services to study the authenticity of the recordings.”</p><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;">Datuk T claimed he had stumbled upon the video after he was asked by the politician to search for his watch in the room where the sexual encounter had taken place.</p><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;">“As I could not find the watch on the table, I searched for it behind the dresser. I was shocked to find many strands of wires behind the dresser.</p><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;">“On close inspection, I found four well-hidden CCTV cameras, I tried to open the two dresser drawers and found one was locked.</p><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;">“I prised open the locked drawer using a sharp object. I found an active CCTV recorder. I disconnected the wiring and took the recorder out of the hotel,’’ he said, adding that no one had the recording except him.</p><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;">“I will not hand over copies to any quarters for fear of reproduction and distribution,’’ he said.</p><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;">Members of the media including The Star viewed the video clip on a computer at the hotel room, where Datuk T was heavily guarded. The Star journalist was searched and had his mobile phone taken away before being allowed to view the video. The other members of the media included those from Bernama, New Straits Times, Utusan Malaysia, China Press, the Internet portals, foreign news agencies and at least one opposition organ.</p><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;">The video clip had sharp images and the woman appeared to be a fair-skinned foreigner, possibly an East Asian.</p><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;">Meanwhile, with talk of the video having surfaced, PKR communications director Nik Nazmi Nik Ahmad tweeted, saying the video was doctored.</p><p style="font-size: 14px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); padding: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 15px; font-family: Arial; line-height: 21px;"><a href="http://xrl.us/3gpbest"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 469px; height: 63px;" src="http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p122/gambaraku/downloadvideo.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a></p></div></span></span>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-71260876669021806792010-01-26T23:39:00.000-08:002010-01-26T23:40:59.019-08:00Family JokeThis man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning,<br />peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him<br />and whacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.<br /><br />"What was that for?"<br /><br />"What was that piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name<br />Marylou written on it"<br /><br />"Oh honey, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races?<br />Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on."<br /><br />The wife is satisfied, apologizes, and goes off to do work around<br />the house.<br /><br />Three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading<br />and she repeats the frying pan swatting.<br /><br />"What was that for this time?"<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" >"Your horse phoned!"</span><br /><br />...<br /><br />Then the same husband telephoned his family doctor and said that he<br />was afraid that his teenaged son had come down with V.D.<br /><br />"He says he hasn't had sex with anyone but the maid, so it has to<br />be her."<br /><br />"Don't worry too much," advised the doctor. "These things<br />happen."<br /><br />"I know, doctor," said the father, "but I have to admit that I've<br />been sleeping with the maid also. I seem to have the same<br />symptoms."<br /><br />"That's unfortunate."<br /><br />"Not only that, I think I've passed it to my wife."<br /><br />"Oh God," said the doc, <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" ><br /><br />"That means we all have it."<br /></span><br /><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-85231115459762561562010-01-26T23:37:00.001-08:002010-01-26T23:37:50.944-08:00Marriage Joke<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Becky was on her deathbed. Her husband, Jake, was maintaining a<br />vigil by her side. He held her fragile hand, tears ran down his<br />face. His praying roused her from her slumber. She looked up and<br />her pale lips began to move slightly.<br /><br />"My darling Jake," she whispered.<br /><br />"Hush, my love," he said. "Rest. Shhh. Don't talk."<br /><br />She was insistent. "Jake," she said in her tired voice. "I have<br />something I must confess to you."<br /><br />"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Jake.<br />"Everything's all right, go to sleep."<br /><br />"No, no. I must die in peace, Jake. I slept with your brother,<br />your best friend and your father."<br /><br />"I know darling," ....he replied.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" >"That's why I poisoned you."</span></span></span><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-81037074786824106822010-01-26T23:33:00.001-08:002010-01-26T23:33:51.972-08:00Lost Wife JokeDear Sir,<br /><br />I am writing to ask your help in locating my missing wife. We were on a wonderful trip to Africa for our honeymoon several months ago. On our flight back, we had a connection in England and somehow became separated. I had her paged for several hours and then contacted local and international police to assist me in locating her.<br /><br />To date, all of our attempts to find her have been unsuccessful. I am now desperate to find my lost love and am trying to use the Internet to locate her. Please forward this to everyone you know so I can spread the word on locating my missing wife.<br /><br />Mr. Richard Small<br />Portland,<br />Oregon,<br />USA<br /><br /><br /><br />After a few weeks search ....<br /><br /><br /><br />Dear Mr. Small,<br /><br />We have found your wife in Africa of all places. However, it is unknown how she got here, nor is she able to talk because of lockjaw, but we are under the impression that she does not want to leave. We have tried for several days to bring her back home, but she is insistent on staying here.<br /><br />I have enclosed a picture for you to see that she is okay. Do not worry, because she is in good hands here in this village. Please contact us if there is anything else you might want to know.<br /><br />Nairobi Police Department<br /><br /><a href="http://www.thatscomedy.com/lostbride.htm#bride">Click here to see attached photo.</a><br /><br /> <input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-34272213153256839202010-01-26T23:28:00.000-08:002010-01-26T23:29:04.105-08:00Cocksucker!A young man is on a date with a young woman and they go parking.<br />After some heavy petting the young man asks the young woman for<br />oral sex.<br /><br />"No", says the young woman, "you won't respect me."<br /><br />So the young man is content to wait. After they had been dating a<br />few months, the young man again asks the young woman for oral<br />sex. Again she replies,<br /><br />"No, you won't respect me."<br /><br />Eventually the two get married and the husband asks his bride<br /><br />"Honey, please, we're married now. You know I love you and<br />respect you. Can I please have oral sex?".<br /><br />"No", she says "I just know that if I do that, you won't respect<br />me."<br /><br />So the man waits. And waits... And waits.... After 20 years of<br />marriage the man says,<br /><br />"Honey, we've been together 20 wonderful years now. We've raised<br />three beautiful kids. You KNOW that I love you and respect you<br />completely. How about oral sex, just once???? Please??????"<br /><br />So the wife finally gives in to her husband's wish and performs<br />oral sex on him. After she is done they are lying in bed relaxing<br />and the telephone rings. The husband turns to his wife and says,<br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;">"Answer that you cocksucker."</span><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-8722505150959926472010-01-26T23:22:00.000-08:002010-01-26T23:24:03.529-08:00Blonde Joke: Capital of SatesThere was this blonde who just got sick and tired of all the<br />blonde jokes she'd hear at the office. So one evening she went<br />home and memorized all the state capitals.<br /><br />Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a Dumb<br />Blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement,<br /><br />"I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to<br />know that this blonde went home last night and did something<br />probably none of you could do...I memorized all the state<br />capitals."<br /><br />One of the guys said "I don't believe you."<br /><br />She said, "It's true. Just test me!"<br /><br />"Okay. What is the capital of Alaska," he asked?<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" ><br />"A" she answered.</span><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-20699901771973623712009-12-03T22:46:00.000-08:002009-12-03T22:47:24.155-08:00Dwarf JokeA little dwarf lady goes into her doctor's office complaining of<br />an irritated crotch. After an examination the doctor sighs,<br /><br />"I don't seem to see any problem. Does it get better or worse at<br />any time?"<br /><br />"Yeah, its really bad whenever it rains." she replies.<br /><br />"Well, then," says the Doc, "Next time it rains, get in here at<br />once, and we'll take another look at it."<br /><br />Two weeks later it's raining really hard, and the little lady<br />shows up at the doctor's office.<br /><br />"Doctor, it's really bad today. Please, you have to help me!!"<br /><br />"Well, let's have a look," he says as he lifts her up onto the<br />table.<br /><br />"Oh, yes, I think I see the problem. Nurse, bring me a surgical<br />kit. Don't worry ma'am this won't hurt a bit."<br /><br />The dwarf lady closes her eyes in painful anticipation. The<br />doctor begins snipping away and finishes a few minutes later.<br /><br />"There you go, ma'am, try that."<br /><br />She walks back and forth around the office and exclaims,<br /><br />"That's great, Doc, what did you do?!"<br /><br />To which the doctor replied,<br /><br />"I just took a couple of inches off the top of your rain boots."<input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-20939292049858608242009-12-03T22:40:00.002-08:002009-12-03T22:43:27.155-08:00Confession JokeTwo teenage boys turned up at church and the first went in for<br />confession. He told the priest he'd had sex the night before.<br /><br />"Who was the girl involved?" asked the priest.<br /><br />"I don't know, it was dark," replied the boy.<br /><br />"Was it Bernadette McLafferty?"<br /><br />The boy said he still didn't know.<br /><br />"Was it Theresa O'Hare.........or Rosemary McGinty?" asked the<br />priest.<br /><br />"I don't know, it was too dark," insisted the boy.<br /><br />"Could it have been Anne-Marie, the baker's daughter?" asked the<br />priest.<br /><br />The boy continued to deny any knowledge of the girl's identity.<br /><br />Finally, the exasperated priest sent the boy away and told him to<br />return when he could reveal the girl's name.<br /><br />Outside his friend was waiting anxiously.<br /><br />"Did you get absolution?" he asked.<br /><br />"Naw," said his pal, "but I got four good leads for this<br />Saturday night!"<input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input onclick="jsCall();" id="jsProxy" type="hidden"><div id="refHTML"></div>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-76042055394734710132009-12-03T22:40:00.001-08:002009-12-03T22:40:51.591-08:00Language JokeA Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where<br />two Englishmen are waiting.<br /><br />"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says.<br /><br />The two Englishmen just stare at him.<br /><br />"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?"<br /><br />The two continue to stare.<br /><br />"Parlare Italiano?"<br /><br />No response,<br /><br />"Hablan ustedes Espanol?"<br /><br />Still nothing.<br /><br />The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.<br /><br />The first Englishman turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe<br />we should learn a foreign language...."<br /><br />"Why?" says the other, "That bloke knew four languages, and it<br />didn't do him any good."Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-27122349884409643322009-04-14T03:56:00.000-07:002009-04-14T03:59:51.078-07:00WOU Postcard ContestDetail here: <a href="http://contest.wou.edu.my/">http://contest.wou.edu.my/</a><br /><br />Last minutes submission....<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs8d3EMr-4QGa9IJy0XID0wzWEWrlnJHk0NAmmhILSmh7c4KnXduqZJ_IlzALe5JQwnX-bVPCafpHwv2u1bO2gb2TxwRve8FKHhtsoB_xEuQQZSrsb8UST-2D3wM7SGnKjvqs1nC-FQAlM/s1600-h/postcard.PNG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 317px; height: 405px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs8d3EMr-4QGa9IJy0XID0wzWEWrlnJHk0NAmmhILSmh7c4KnXduqZJ_IlzALe5JQwnX-bVPCafpHwv2u1bO2gb2TxwRve8FKHhtsoB_xEuQQZSrsb8UST-2D3wM7SGnKjvqs1nC-FQAlM/s400/postcard.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324499741867377298" border="0" /></a>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-42901726174547556862009-03-30T21:59:00.000-07:002009-03-30T22:03:10.122-07:00Assign a Gender to Nouns Joke<div><br /></div><div>From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason.</div><div><br /></div><div>The best submissions: </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">SWISS ARMY KNIFE</span> - male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">KIDNEYS</span> -female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">TIRE</span> -male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">HOT AIR BALLOON</span> - male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air part.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">SPONGES</span> - female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">WEB PAGE</span> - female, because it is always getting hit on.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">SHOE</span> - male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">COPIER</span> - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the</div><div>wrong buttons are pushed.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">ZIPLOC BAGS</span> - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">SUBWAY</span> - male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">HOURGLASS</span> - female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">HAMMER</span> - male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5000 years but it's handy to have around.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">REMOTE CONTROL</span> - female...Ha!...you thought I'd say male. But consider, it gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.</div>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-37261353285370080012009-03-30T21:55:00.000-07:002009-03-30T21:58:07.199-07:00Almost Married Joke<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>These two guys meet after not having seen each other for many, many years. First guy asks the second guy,</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"How have things been going?"</span></div><div><br /></div><div>The second guy, speaking very slowly tells the first guy,</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"I was almost married."</span></div><div><br /></div><div>The first guy says in amazement,</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Hey, you don't stutter any more."</span></div><div><br /></div><div>The answer comes, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Yes, I went to a doctor and he told me that if I speak slowly I will not stutter."</span></div><div><br /></div><div>The first friend congratulates him and than asks again about how he was almost married.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Well, my fiancee and I were sitting on her porch and the dog was scratching his back and I told her that when we are married, she can do that for me. And then she threw the ring in my face."</span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Why should she throw the ring in your face for that?"</span> asks the first friend.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">"Well, I speak so slowly, that by the time she looked at the dog, he was licking his balls!"</span></span></span></div>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-64877597095758174512009-03-30T21:49:00.000-07:002009-03-30T21:52:47.056-07:00Smart Old Couple<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"What can I do for you?"</span></div><div><br /></div><div>The man said, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Will you watch us have sex?"</span></div><div><br /></div><div>The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said,</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex,"</span> and charged them $50.</div><div><br /></div><div>This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.</div><div><br /></div><div>Finally the doctor asked, </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"</span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">"We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50, .....and I get $43 back from Medicare."</span></span></span></div>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-49140771436729875382008-12-14T20:57:00.000-08:002008-12-14T21:08:21.562-08:00Iraqi Journalist Throws Shoes at BushIn this image from APTN video, a man throws a shoe at President George W. Bush during a news conference with Iraq Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki on Sunday, Dec. 14, 2008, in Baghdad. The man threw two shoes at Bush, one after another. Bush ducked both throws, and neither man was hit. President George W. Bush on Sunday hailed progress in the war that defines his presidency and got a size-10 reminder of his unpopularity when a man hurled two shoes at him during a news conference.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"This is a farewell kiss, you dog!" </span></span><br /></div><br />Shouted the protester in Arabic, later identified as Muntadar al-Zeidi, a correspondent for Al-Baghdadia television, an Iraqi-owned station based in Cairo, Egypt.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3LYd6DaD1qMRq2FHMdz5dSrt95EMP-vABp8jX01MBDaZeL66Wz5S_NaO1AsuX0JHqnj8dKwOjeAW22FeQv78v07TZkhCBZyQ9e3ONR7syR465iC8V0BtVE_rPaYov8YqCUKasAFnLSmq1/s1600-h/kasut2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 399px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3LYd6DaD1qMRq2FHMdz5dSrt95EMP-vABp8jX01MBDaZeL66Wz5S_NaO1AsuX0JHqnj8dKwOjeAW22FeQv78v07TZkhCBZyQ9e3ONR7syR465iC8V0BtVE_rPaYov8YqCUKasAFnLSmq1/s400/kasut2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5279877382440756002" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXh-xCiH253QoFATvhg9nADBQ-BR6E3ufxef6TGKKgQx4hjLmHeGphrLhcwuw8ZrWeCEfP5XfFdY15zTqeQTELg8i5qlHTwtfP9u4dSR_kiO9ArSEGozv9Ld2B-aSMXcXiIvl4tx6BEtm2/s1600-h/kasut3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 399px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXh-xCiH253QoFATvhg9nADBQ-BR6E3ufxef6TGKKgQx4hjLmHeGphrLhcwuw8ZrWeCEfP5XfFdY15zTqeQTELg8i5qlHTwtfP9u4dSR_kiO9ArSEGozv9Ld2B-aSMXcXiIvl4tx6BEtm2/s400/kasut3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5279877384676715170" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSEJRSd6nY07HlaZ8aAB0pUbWMApsfYGMS98qv0zb1tecmUZe3IqoN7y4Woxbg2FfAXwOwmqkHqFyrnLkASfwNQ1fTBloz9dZRdNqzlB4a_hbd7xO1yLGvCfr1-q0DfTcOpWenHtz-COAN/s1600-h/kasut5.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 306px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSEJRSd6nY07HlaZ8aAB0pUbWMApsfYGMS98qv0zb1tecmUZe3IqoN7y4Woxbg2FfAXwOwmqkHqFyrnLkASfwNQ1fTBloz9dZRdNqzlB4a_hbd7xO1yLGvCfr1-q0DfTcOpWenHtz-COAN/s400/kasut5.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5279877386711916690" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGpfefyRCafSizMdKDzcbOqbNh3MmFykqUzLWeEYKS_sImBt95iIaWGuYbmZZxn5SwIKm_qxcCI0X87iY2_7TQoUzptnsURw52CEMxWPbqQTlpVDk62tOH0-GC1ydTQMgKYk36BXLx-AgJ/s1600-h/kasut5.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGpfefyRCafSizMdKDzcbOqbNh3MmFykqUzLWeEYKS_sImBt95iIaWGuYbmZZxn5SwIKm_qxcCI0X87iY2_7TQoUzptnsURw52CEMxWPbqQTlpVDk62tOH0-GC1ydTQMgKYk36BXLx-AgJ/s400/kasut5.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5279878789198250498" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjco4fXbB6uQw2NgBwAYzRDWT2UUDZvvFxrPCS3HlGaLKzJNBpZMav6d4RXnadF-ybJnh-Bvm-Ke_oFTLYW_cmKBHDYmtKhuYrUHnx-iZcu37WJJvXwW70BezsW8CnkYygtGS-5uGoreTLd/s1600-h/kasut4.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 399px; height: 265px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjco4fXbB6uQw2NgBwAYzRDWT2UUDZvvFxrPCS3HlGaLKzJNBpZMav6d4RXnadF-ybJnh-Bvm-Ke_oFTLYW_cmKBHDYmtKhuYrUHnx-iZcu37WJJvXwW70BezsW8CnkYygtGS-5uGoreTLd/s400/kasut4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5279877386000793842" border="0" /></a><br />Source: Yahoo News<br /><br />http://news.yahoo.com/nphotos/Iraqi-journalist-throws-shoes-Bush-image-APTN-video-man-throws-shoe-President-George-W-Bush/ss/events/wl/121508bushshoe/im:/081214/481/b95e057088ec40f292d9fce0cb6e5722/Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-14666899907981292052008-12-09T03:29:00.000-08:002008-12-09T03:33:39.600-08:00Jom Vote for Nicol Ann David Now!Lets vote for Nicol now!<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.espnstar.com/games/champions-2008/vote/?username="><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 212px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGcvANwhig-hz6q72uwi0LqP-71kjZRPA2ZngswbIKF1G8Weter3hSYjuSYg0nGWvLzkB8y2Cr6_tKVjvVDSfVGINGCmiVnOC1rKlXhVvLlMhDyik8pNM4LZkh4w5-BtqoIu44uqovVRKE/s400/vote+for+nicol+now.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277751899327499042" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.espnstar.com/games/champions-2008/vote/?username="><br />http://www.espnstar.com/games/champions-2008/vote/?username=</a>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-65829262700480558472008-11-04T00:10:00.000-08:002008-11-04T00:43:21.630-08:00Link From NASA WebsiteHow to get link from NASA's website?<br /><br />No joke, NASA as National Aeronautic And Space Administration, not any other funny acronym like Not Another Silly Acronym (NASA).<br /><br />See...<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGu-qiVH8JuPcK0TTkMZz7i5RCpGeViLI7wIJ1J1EO53i52XcnSO_u1NA4HERKqyyyFOKVVYrtPIoUAptlEokqg2cB5eBWldkx_QR-iW4Uj6XGvNP6Uvpq06TbZnvQHexAHWnNRXWP8dBH/s1600-h/link+from+NASA+website.PNG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 125px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGu-qiVH8JuPcK0TTkMZz7i5RCpGeViLI7wIJ1J1EO53i52XcnSO_u1NA4HERKqyyyFOKVVYrtPIoUAptlEokqg2cB5eBWldkx_QR-iW4Uj6XGvNP6Uvpq06TbZnvQHexAHWnNRXWP8dBH/s400/link+from+NASA+website.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5264714004216178434" border="0" /></a><br />Seriously, link from NASA. No kidding...<br /><br />SEO expert will tell you how juicy link from any .gov website. Especially highly rated site as NASA. No way NASA create link to my blog.<br /><br />So, let me tell you how to do it.<br /><br />1. Copy this url<br /><br />http://robotics.nasa.gov/rcc/redirect.php?url=%2F%2F<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">www.kah-kah-kah.blogspot.com/</span><br /><br />2. Replace those red colored address with your own url.<br /><br />3. Paste at address bar at your browser.<br /><br />4. You will see page like this:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicgeAR_8vL96uXSZjtM8XkksqieNTnVoQXbGIMWGhcgKfZgmamJrtE_eO47DnKhOfdYkMGcnL_Vr0wrymsgEQukrUKGuYFsmVRqUyZUhE1PaCuVAOcfaKrPpAmArZp73PSnObhznoF91C5/s1600-h/link+from+NASA+website+2.PNG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 250px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicgeAR_8vL96uXSZjtM8XkksqieNTnVoQXbGIMWGhcgKfZgmamJrtE_eO47DnKhOfdYkMGcnL_Vr0wrymsgEQukrUKGuYFsmVRqUyZUhE1PaCuVAOcfaKrPpAmArZp73PSnObhznoF91C5/s400/link+from+NASA+website+2.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5264717604258054066" border="0" /></a>Just click to continue.<br /><br />Walllah....! You got yourself visitor directly from NASA page.<br /><br />Click here to try:<a href="http://xrl.us/nasa1" target="_new"> Link from NASA. </a><br /><br />Promote that long address to your friends and impress them.<br /><br />I pretty sure search engine will not appreciate 'cheat link' like this. But who cares, fact that we got linkback from NASA page will always make us smile, right?<br /><br />Hope to make some friends in tonight Madagascar 2 premiere screening.Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-39500450278220512242008-10-21T03:25:00.000-07:002008-10-21T03:52:58.527-07:00I Like To Move It, Move It with Madagascar 2!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1hRKciQePlKvGo-iRjM2zL9RS3yOkcUsASNNG4gJbE_h72ItzVFQEw4HtvZI-HlqhjVtxPZFKOhS4E0k-62swhdZ-v6DeT8FM2HnWzwnKMs0pCFEVDFVL9WSHoJTPnS3AFn03IfB3YlMo/s1600-h/madagascar+2.PNG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1hRKciQePlKvGo-iRjM2zL9RS3yOkcUsASNNG4gJbE_h72ItzVFQEw4HtvZI-HlqhjVtxPZFKOhS4E0k-62swhdZ-v6DeT8FM2HnWzwnKMs0pCFEVDFVL9WSHoJTPnS3AFn03IfB3YlMo/s400/madagascar+2.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5259554166314115618" border="0" /></a>No doubt one of the funniest cartoon movie ever made. I personally rate it on par with Shrek sequel.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Which one of Madagascar character is your favorite?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjd5hsVqxcu5WbFcWpEwFSdzD88c0tLPh8-IWLHGa5kF280X1WQ4Qr1-N2uVkvtxxxBaC-ozUcSAgf_ZGArq4dEcsE6LuGPnlyy5WIHY85qMF_6hJbGxudD5edWztfb5bEHJSIqsFfZYq4/s1600-h/alex-sig1.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjd5hsVqxcu5WbFcWpEwFSdzD88c0tLPh8-IWLHGa5kF280X1WQ4Qr1-N2uVkvtxxxBaC-ozUcSAgf_ZGArq4dEcsE6LuGPnlyy5WIHY85qMF_6hJbGxudD5edWztfb5bEHJSIqsFfZYq4/s200/alex-sig1.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5259553059939547762" border="0" /></a>Alex<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmhK-NNz7Vn8SVMdQObpebUa-bYrH3DHySeygkXya-TF84scNkqQr61F_g6QOKlkgm9MnsUE1_Yd7RTI2YmfdbxOqAI_zOAyEWFe964_tHhvHO5lbber36F5yhY3Rx6hYIxliX7Y3oJUgx/s1600-h/gloria-sig1.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmhK-NNz7Vn8SVMdQObpebUa-bYrH3DHySeygkXya-TF84scNkqQr61F_g6QOKlkgm9MnsUE1_Yd7RTI2YmfdbxOqAI_zOAyEWFe964_tHhvHO5lbber36F5yhY3Rx6hYIxliX7Y3oJUgx/s200/gloria-sig1.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5259553064437182066" border="0" /></a>Gloria<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLfgPMbUqmqdg7glDCI397X11M4OvDkg54Ys3HBo-akbBhDmbhYbittCtyoHqfGiUvNrb0pDbG0N2wFqYH9KnIgJ_ddxAcBER5GQgtUUx0bk97savzyhTJdp9g2R_WKxIu1VyilpeskcPE/s1600-h/julian-sig1.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLfgPMbUqmqdg7glDCI397X11M4OvDkg54Ys3HBo-akbBhDmbhYbittCtyoHqfGiUvNrb0pDbG0N2wFqYH9KnIgJ_ddxAcBER5GQgtUUx0bk97savzyhTJdp9g2R_WKxIu1VyilpeskcPE/s200/julian-sig1.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5259553066379625042" border="0" /></a>Julian<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBYaCpcEdQSaeZTyVXvujB-RGNqIbPG-fQQe8IV1r6gcms6LGsh11MRLGIdL-m4Hq7c8NTU5RbKkfMDcGHP4AQnYmL2Ax2xCXEbojFg4XskI8LIYSB6n7PxtoJVjYoLXbk5DMYxsp7rY2g/s1600-h/marty-sig1.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBYaCpcEdQSaeZTyVXvujB-RGNqIbPG-fQQe8IV1r6gcms6LGsh11MRLGIdL-m4Hq7c8NTU5RbKkfMDcGHP4AQnYmL2Ax2xCXEbojFg4XskI8LIYSB6n7PxtoJVjYoLXbk5DMYxsp7rY2g/s200/marty-sig1.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5259553067376720114" border="0" /></a>Marty<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhyGviYlVt_ZCS9tqIvtO87KWZ5q1S6aN_8HS2X5UoofNjOyoa5cyUh3lCUc25jwTXTsTo3_BQ3aADQGt73RjTEIvaCkt4iRIUMWdGbfz3SMR710t17UWg8sel_nltzLwVLD8xTzTpIqub/s1600-h/melman-sig1.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhyGviYlVt_ZCS9tqIvtO87KWZ5q1S6aN_8HS2X5UoofNjOyoa5cyUh3lCUc25jwTXTsTo3_BQ3aADQGt73RjTEIvaCkt4iRIUMWdGbfz3SMR710t17UWg8sel_nltzLwVLD8xTzTpIqub/s200/melman-sig1.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5259553068228662098" border="0" /></a>Melman<br /></div><br />Go and explore their website a lot of stuff you can watch, play and download. And for blogger, they even prepare all kind of widget for us to make play around.<br /><br />Check this out:<br /><a href="http://www.dreamworksanimation.com/adserve/mad2/widget/index.html">http://www.dreamworksanimation.com/adserve/mad2/widget/index.html</a><br /><br />Cool, right?<br /><br />Madagascar 2 movie trailer....<br /><br /><object width="475" height="364"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/A45jv8uhZwo&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/A45jv8uhZwo&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="475" height="364"></embed></object>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-77883840897444806172008-09-05T19:26:00.000-07:002008-09-05T19:30:54.767-07:00Angry Mummy Bear<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;font-family:arial;font-size:130%;" >It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty!<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Who's been eating my porridge?"</span> he squeaks.<br /><br />Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty!<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Who's been eating my porridge?"</span> he roars.<br /><br />Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, <span style="font-style: italic;">"For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke everybody else in the house up. It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mummy Bear who went out into the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper. It was Mummy Bear who set the table. It was Mummy Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box and</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> filled the cat's water & food dish. And now that you've decided to come down stairs and grace me with your presence.... listen good because I'm only going to say this one more time...I haven't</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">made the !@#$% porridge yet!!"</span><br /><br /></span>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-18879831831538497922008-09-05T19:03:00.000-07:002008-09-05T19:06:26.669-07:00Alternative Meaning<span style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;font-family:arial;font-size:13;" >The Washington Post published a contest for readers in which they were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of the winning entries.<br /><br />· Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.<br /><br />· Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.<br /><br />· Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.<br /><br />· Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.<br /><br />· Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent<br /><br />· Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.<br /><br />· Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.<br /><br />· Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.<br /><br />· Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.<br /><br />· Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.<br /><br />· Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.<br /><br />· Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.<br /><br />· Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.<br /><br />· Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.<br /><br />· Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.<br /><br />· Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist</span></span>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-8855829263696350752008-09-05T18:57:00.000-07:002008-09-05T19:01:03.254-07:00Do Not Put Woman Behind Stearing Wheel<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;font-family:arial;font-size:13;" >Two elderly women share the driving back and forth to church on Sundays. This particular Sunday they were out driving in their large car -- both could barely see over the dashboard.<br /><br />As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went right on through.<br /><br />Ethel, the woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, <span style="font-style: italic;">"I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light."</span><br /><br />After a few more minutes they came to another intersection. The light was red and again they went right through, narrowly missing a turning vehicle.<br /><br />This time Ethel was almost sure that the light had been red but was still concerned that she might be mistaken. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.<br /><br />At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through almost hitting a pedestrian.<br /><br />Ethel turned to the other woman and said, <span style="font-style: italic;">"Mildred! Did you know you just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!"</span><br /><br />Mildred turned to her and said, <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">"Oh, am I driving?"</span><br /></span>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-61142022772468624292008-09-03T22:08:00.000-07:002008-09-05T19:02:22.300-07:00Shrink in Cold Water<span style="font-size:130%;">This British explorer is in the dark jungle, going where no Western man has gone before. Accompanying him is his trusted guide, interpreter, cook, and troubleshooter all in one.<br /><br />One day early in the morning, they arrive at a lake and find a handsome dark young man taking a morning swim. When he got to shore and stood up the explorer couldn't help but notice the size<br />of his penis. The young man had the longest, thickest penis he had ever seen, or even imagined. He was simply awed. He asked his guide who this man was.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >"He is the prince of the tribe that lives on the other side of</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" > the lake, Sir,"</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> came the reply.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >"This is his morning ritual."</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >"Ask him,"</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> the awed Brit said to his companion, </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >"how did his</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" > penis get to be this size?"</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br />The guide goes to the lake and talks to the man, who seems to get very agitated by the conversation.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >"Well, what did he say?"</span><span style="font-size:130%;"> asked our hero to his assistant on his return.<br /><br />"</span><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >He said, 'Doesn't the white man's shrink in cold water?'"</span>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-53403255951686005572008-04-10T18:52:00.000-07:002008-09-05T18:55:39.960-07:00Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?<span style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;font-family:arial;font-size:13;" >Consider Michael Jordan, having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, he makes $178,100 a day, working or not. If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head. If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there. If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it. He makes $7,415/hour more than minimum wage.<br /><br />He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends. If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours. If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 very second.<br /><br />He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round. Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $10,500 at 845am on January 1st. If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.<br /><br />He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon. While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600. This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all<br />of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it?<br /><br />However... If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 500 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has at this very moment.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); font-weight: bold;">Game over. Nerd wins.</span></span></span>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-79754842442687571862008-04-08T18:47:00.000-07:002008-09-05T18:50:18.387-07:00Cruel Golf Joke<span style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;font-family:arial;font-size:13;" >A husband and wife were out golfing together one day when they came upon a tough par 4 hole. The husband hooked his drive deep into the woods and proclaimed that he would have to chip out.<br /><br />Then the wife said, <span style="font-style: italic;">"Maybe not, dear! Do you see that barn over there? If I open the doors on both sides, I do believe you could hit it right through and reach the green."</span><br /><br />So the husband agrees to give it a try, but when he hits the ball it goes straight through the first doors of the barn, hits the crossbeam, ricochets back and hits his wife square in the head, killing her stone dead.<br /><br />Well, about a year goes by and the man is golfing with a friend. He finds himself on the same hole, with the same results: a hook deep in the woods. He is all set to chip out when his friend runs up to him and says, <span style="font-style: italic;">"Wait! Do you see that barn over there? If I open the doors on both sides, I think you can still reach the green."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"No way," replies the man, "I tried that last year and got a 7."</span><br /></span></span>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-4341249499593539752008-04-05T18:43:00.000-07:002008-09-05T18:46:42.045-07:00Sample or References?<span style="font-size:130%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;font-family:arial;font-size:13;" >Morris the matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"I'm ashamed to bring this up,</span>" he said, <span style="font-style: italic;">"but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants... a sample."</span><br /><br />The woman was shocked. <span style="font-style: italic;">"Such a thing you ask a virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman. What kind of a woman does he think I am?"</span><br /><br />The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, <span style="font-style: italic;">"He's a business man. He buys goods in the market and he sells goods. By him, it's not a big deal... just a sample."</span><br /><br />She thought a minute. <span style="font-style: italic;">"He's a business man? So tell him I don't give samples. If he wants, I can give him 50 or 60 references."</span></span></span>Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4035291719478678661.post-29239620528398160142008-03-24T19:09:00.000-07:002008-03-24T19:20:22.755-07:00When I.T Guy Try to be Funny1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's<br />art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.<br /><br />2. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.<br /><br />3. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 700 screen saver passwords.<br /><br />4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.<br /><br />5. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing.<br /><br />6. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.<br /><br />7. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.<br /><br />8. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it.<br /><br />9. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.<br /><br />10. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.<br /><br />11. When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us.<br /><br />12. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.<br /><br />13. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.<br /><br />14. Don't learn the proper term for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "My thingy blew up".<br /><br />15. Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.Mr. Righthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07781056522120529881noreply@blogger.com2